Appetizers
Kraft Macaroni and Cheese
Just look at our economy.
$0.25/A receipt form Freddie Mac
Soups
Gumbo
Just like America, all of 19th century immigrant food customs shoved into one dish.
$5.00/an Ancestory.com account
New England Clam Chowder
The only way to get a New Englander to stop running their mouth!
$5.00/A black eye from Fenway Park
Dinners
Spare Ribs
One pound of the fatty muscle between a pig's ribs; slathered in sodium rich grease. How did America become the fattest nation?
$11.00/Hypertension
General Tso’s chicken
The Chinese dish that no Chinese person has ever heard of.
$8.00/We can serve you an authentic Chinese dish. You don't want to know what Chinese people really eat.
Wild Alaskan Salmon
This fish is caught in the same place, and at the same time Grizzly Bears are fattening up for hibernation!
$11.00/A badass mountain-man beard
Beverages
Light Beer
Every Americans most important weight loss tool
Free, we know this stuff is worthless.
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